To that same old place that you laughed about
It’s been 2 months since I last blogged it feels like a lifetime.
To embrace the melodrama of it all it feels like I am slowly coming back from the dead. There was a point one night at 3 in the morning when I literally thought I was going to bleed to death and my body so exhausted and anaemic and drained felt relief for a split second….I’m ashamed of that but after 3 months of hemoraging I’m suprised I had the strength to keep going.
I had the surgery and it didn’t really change anything at first. I continued to bleed and my hemoglobins dropped so low that the sheer act of showering required supervision incase I passed out……hubby didn’t complain about this however.
Hubby infact didn’t complain about any of it. The constant trips to the hospital, the gross aspects of my situation and the almost “carer” that he became when I got so weak I couldn’t even dress myself. I don’t how I got lucky enough to have him.
It took time and patience and then some more time and then about a week ago I managed to sleep through the night and I woke up knowing it was all going to be ok.
I don’t know how to describe it without sounding schmultzy but it was like the first day of Spring and I’m starting to blossom again….it’s going to take time but I am starting to be me again. A random joke, a comment, the ability to walk to the car without getting breathless and I even managed a shower unsupervised last week.
So I’m back …. kinda, it’s a day by day process. The hemoglobins are still low and I still get really tired but I feel alive and I’ve never been more grateful for that.
Linking up with Jess because she’s awesome and because I’m starting to blog on Tuesdays again.