Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead
I’ll never forget the time my sister was on the phone to my mum and my mum didn’t realise I was there as well. My sister had her on speaker phone and my mum said the following words ” Rachel just expects too much of everyone”. I can’t describe how much those words hit me, hurt me and stuck with me but I can tell you why they did. For starters nobody ever wants to think of people talking about them behind their backs and secondly I never did think I expected too much of anyone in particular my family respect and love maybe that’s it.
Something in me changed in that moment, some additional stubborness crept in and I decided not to expect ANYTHING of ANYBODY. I realise now with a few more years of wisdom behind me how ridiculous the concept of no expectations is. Sure with low or no expectations there is a smaller risk of people disappointing you but I think it takes away the joy of exceeding expectations in particular your own.
The times that I have done best in my life have been when people didn’t think I could….there is a satisfaction in proving people wrong or better yet proving yourself right but there does come a time when your constant need to one up yourself leads to a need to control every situation.
I have been struggling lately with a female issues for the last 6 weeks, I am tired and emotional and drained and yet I am continuing to try to do everything I am trying to be Superwoman. Yesterday I failed at something….nothing important but it led to tears…I expected too much of myself….then I had an issue with a client….more tears……expectations smashed into oblivion.
I let myself surrender to the sadness if only for a few minutes I gave in and cried and when I let go of the reigns you know what happened my husband came to my rescue, without being asked or nagged or “expected” to. He found a solution, I never expected him to do that or to have to.
I guess my mother was wrong I don’t expect too much of people…….just me.
<Linking up with the gorgeous Josefa for Conversations Over Coffee>