Why Can’t We Be Friends

I can still remember the first moment it was I realised that I respected Charlotte Dawson. A long time watcher of all things fashion and model related I was watching an episode of Australias Next Top Model when Charlotte referred to 3 contestants as the “Dapto Dogs”. Sure having not seen the behaviour prior to this you would be forgiven for thinking this was pretty harsh however having just watched an episode where these 3 contestants persecuted another contestant until she was in tears and then harassed her for crying I completely understood the pack mentality reference and what I respected was that to Charlotte Dawson bullying was an absolute no no.

I have to admit I was really upset when I heard that Charlotte had died and I have since had a little bit of a cry about it but then I can’t imagine anyone not being upset. Here was this beautiful and vivacious woman who battled mental illness and was not afraid to admit it. She attempted to bring it out of the shadows and take the stigma away from it and she also attempted to take down the cyber bullies at the same time. But life is a game and sometimes even if you win, you lose and the loser this time is not Charlotte but us because we miss out on her particular brand of magic, because anytime when mental health problems or bullying or suicide wins we all lose.

As bloggers we are aware of cyber bullying better than most, we see it on our twitter feeds and sometimes in the comment sections of blogs and I for one an amazed and appalled at the anger, hatred and for lack of a better word trolling that occurs. It used to be that people could express different opinions and maybe not agree but definitely not attack others for it. But the keyboard that allows freedom of expression for some also allows freedom of nastiness. Where does it stop? Where do we draw the line?

As a fan of MKR (My Kitchen Rules to those of you not in the know) I came across the below picture.

I honestly don't remember where I saw this

I honestly don’t remember where I saw this

To me this photo oversteps the mark. I am not a fan of the couple in the photo infact I have tweeted several times about how David will be arrogant about how bad someones cooking is and then he plates up something worse but at no point would I ever comment on how they look. As someone with social anxiety I often wonder what people think when they see me out with my husband and so when I saw this photo I was quite angry for a number of reasons.

The first reason being they are in a cooking competition and not a modelling one and the second reason being that they are a couple who claim to be truly in love, I can’t think of a single woman who wouldn’t want her partner to think of her as beautiful so I guess my question is why do we care whether or not this man finds this woman gorgeous and who is above judgement enough to state that their concept of beauty is better than his. We are all different and excuse me for thinking that’s a good thing.

I’ve heard it said today infact that Charlotte Dawson should of just stayed off twitter and that this other couple should expect things like this for being on a tv show and I have to admit my jaw dropped in disbelief. I felt like we had gone back to the days when it was said a girl was “asking for it” if she wore a short skirt. A victim of cyber bullying is blamed for defending herself on twitter uh uh I don’t think so.

When did it stop being socially acceptable to be kind. When did we stop listening to our mothers who told us if we didn’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything. When did human decency go out the window so that online bullying got to a point where peoples lives are at risk. Why can’t we be like Martin Luther King and stop judging on appearances and base our opinions on the content of peoples character?

Linking up with Jess for IBOT – promise Sunshine Rach will be back next time just needed to get my rant on.

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27 thoughts on “Why Can’t We Be Friends

  1. Hear hear Rach – society has slipped into this terrible culture where it thinks it’s okay to pull the piss out of everyone and everything, and it’s not acceptable. I fear my children will cop cyber bullying and it breaks my heart just thinking about it 😦

  2. Yep it is just appalling to think that common decency seems to have gone out the window. To me Dave stating that he has a trophy wife is one of the most beautiful things I have heard. In fact there should be more Dave’s out there if that is how he thinks, because really all men should feel that way about their wives shouldn’t they? Sending you lots of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

  3. It’s too common these days for people to be abused and made fun of, just for having a go! Seriously, if more people worried about their own business, and left others alone, we’d all be a lot happier.
    Cyber bullying terrifies me, as the mum of a young child.

  4. You have a beautiful heart Rach and I actually thought that picture about the MKR couple was pretty harsh too. When did we become so heartless? Sometimes we can think not very nice things… but they need to stay in our head, and not get spread via social media!

  5. Sigh…I think the anonymity that social media gives a lot of us contributes to this mean streak…people who wouldn’t dare say things to your face will say it now via social media and thus manage to get the message across not just to you but a zillion others. And the whole bit about questioning why Charlotte Dawson continued to stay on twitter is no one’s business…like you said, it’s like how people love to blame women when they are raped or sexually assaulted. That mentality continues till date so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised when they blame the victim around bullying too… 😐

  6. Well said. There needs to be a step up in the laws or the police need to be shown how to enforce the current laws in place. I agree if you dont have anything nice to say – dont say it.

  7. Great post Rach! I always try to live by the rule if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. The internet and it’s anonymity has turned people in to gutless, cowardly keyboard warriors who think that because it’s a screen rather than a person in front of them they can say whatever they damn well please and it’s just so wrong! #teamIBOT

  8. I got annoyed the other day at work when someone said that people should “stay away from that tweeting sh*t”. Yep, bad people are on twitter. They’re also in all aspects of life. It annoyed me so much, but I couldn’t be bothered to argue with someone who had never even used twitter.

  9. I’m fully behind you with this rant! I saw that MKR pic too and thought it had overstepped the mark. I just don’t understand why some people have to be so cruel. Why? I can’t imagine what their lives must be like.

  10. I’m hoping that we will see some changes in laws that will make it harder for this kind of thing to happen. As for MKR I think the producers set them up for this kind of behaviour

  11. I saw a cartoon last night that very much hit the nail on the head with the celebrity culture at the moment. It showed a stick figure on stage with people in the crowd abusing them, calling them names etc. The stick figure then shoots themselves..the crowd then is full of ‘oh no they were such a great person, such a loss etc’. It’s so easy to tear a celebrity to shreds and feel justified for it if you are behind a keyboard..a completely different story when you are faced with the very real consequences of bullying.

    As for the MKR..I dislike them as much as the next person but I am getting pretty sick of the age gap jokes. My partner and I have a larger age gap than this couple and I have heard all of the bad things ranging from ‘I have Daddy issues to both of us being so desperate that we couldn’t get someone our own age’. It’s heartbreaking, especially when you know just how much you love the other person.

  12. I saw another thing with them on it – he’s giving her a piggyback ride or something, obviously some promo shoot, and it says “That awkward moment when things…are just awkward” or something like that and I think it’s hideous and insulting and all kinds of bullyish nastiness. I don’t watch MKR, I do know this couple was eliminated and got the worst score in history but lots of things going around about these 2 that totally oversteps the line. It’s disgusting. I’m so over social media and the EVIL it is used for lately. Great post xo

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