Cause she’s so high
High above me, she’s so lovely
She’s so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She’s so high, high above me
Dear 17 year old Rach,
First things first don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Even though for 17 you are incredibly mature there is a big difference between being mature and being a grown up and being a grown up is only a quarter as fun as you imagine. Sure you can eat cookies for breakfast if you want to but you are also aware of how expensive cookies can be not to mention Dentists.
School is not the be all and end all that said don’t give up trying your brain is capable of amazing things when you put it to the test and while we are on the topic of school most of the friends (not all but most) you have there will stay there they will not travel through your life with you and that is perfectly fine because the girl you are at 17 is different to the woman you will become. Life is an everchanging journey and you will change in so many ways along the journey. Don’t be afraid of change because it can be such a wonderful and welcomed thing.
Put down the fork, you are not that hungry and food will not fill the void within you. Food will not make you thinner, food will not make you happier or satisfied, food is not going to make you cooler or more capable of fitting in. You are not meant to fit in you are unique and extraordinary embrace that now rather than beating yourself up for it for the next 10 years. Eating a little less and moving around a bit more will make it all the easier to drop the small amount of excess weight you are carrying rather than it becoming a larger amount. This isn’t about how you look but how you feel- be a little healthier, start that healthy habit while you are young it’s so much easier to learn at 17 trust me.
Some people date their true love at 17 but this isn’t going to be you so stop wishing it. The years you have to grow and develop as an individual will be immeasurable. You will discover who you are, what you value and believe in as an adult. There will be false starts. Your heart will be broken but that’s a good thing because it helps you recognise when the real thing comes along. And it will come along sweet girl, you will get to experience true love in it’s purest most amazing form with an incredible man. Just make sure to still be nice that sweet quiet guy in ancient history he comes back into your story later on.
The money thing is going to keep being rough for a while and I know it’s hard. I know that you hate feeling so jealous of your friends because they get to buy new formal dresses and you have to wear your sisters hand me downs and that your friends don’t know what it’s like to see your mother cry over an electricity bill. I know how hard it is for you that you everyday wish for a lotto win for your mum just so her life is easier so you don’t have to feel guilty whenever you have an excursion or need school shoes. I’m going to tell you something now to set you free from the worry. Big sis K is right you will get to your 30’s and realise that everything you got you got because you worked hard you earned it you paid for it yourself. So few people can say that.
Now this part is the hardest for me to write so please make sure you listen carefully. You are beautiful ok. I know you feel fat and fuzzy and untrendy but you have so much beauty in you. Your smile can make other people happy just by seeing it, your eyes show your every emotion, they are strong and powerful and kind. Your hands are always going to be pudgy but at least you stop biting your nails when you’re 21 and your eyebrows well maybe it’s best to start waxing them as soon as possible and waxing them yourself is not the same thing when you have bushman eyebrows like yours.
So remember what I said about the waxing ok but mostly the stuff about being beautiful. No you don’t look like your friends but that’s just because you are unique, you are gorgeous and fun and there will be plenty of people who find your attractive regardless of your figure so just be happy to be you. Celebrate your strengths and don’t let your weaknesses get you down.
The adventure is just beginning sunshine girl,
Rach (well the older Rach)
p.s 31 is not as old as you think it is
pp.s buy a few extra pairs of those shoes you loved at portmans trust me you’ll spend a decade looking for similar.