Just when you think that you’re in control,
Just when you think that you’ve got a hold,
Just when you get on a roll,
Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again.
I should have known,
Should have known,
Should have known again
I was in the middle of writing my IBOT post last Monday night about how I had had a sad bad week and that I was putting it behind me and refocusing and making new goals when my typing was interrupted by the sound of someone vomiting (not me could you imagine the state of the laptop if it had been).
I walked to the bathroom to find poor hubby doubled over….something out of the ordinary he never gets sick. For the regular person gastro is horrendous for a type 1 diabetic which hubby is it’s incredibly dangerous. 2 hours later I almost faceplanted it getting into the ambulance when hubbys blood sugar bottomed out.
On the outside I was calm and composed, worried but asking the right questions. On the inside I was jittery and crying and terrified. They talked of incredibly low phosphate levels and how this could lead to ketoacidosis (which hubby previously had and was misdiagnosed at the very same hospital we were in). Without an infusion of phosphate, several different anti vomiting and nausea injections, fluids intravenously and a disgusting lemon paste that was aimed at getting his blood sugar back up ( if the taste wasn’t so disgusting that it prompted further vomiting) this could be a real possibility.
By the next day without any sleep I was exhausted, beyond exhausted my sister came to pick me up from the hospital and said some words that put it back into perspective “welcome to motherhood Rach- sleepness nights and trying to stay calm when it seems like it’s all falling apart”. So I focused on getting Chris back ontrack and then myself when I inevitably caught the gastro. I got some rest, got a new referral to a dietician and this week now that everything has calmed down I will go back to my exercise regime.
I’m a true believer that goals provide us direction. I practice this in my professional life each and everyday with my clients and so in an attempt to refocus here are my goals in terms of weightloss and fitness:
- I was at my physical heaviness on my wedding day…my wedding dress which was an online knock off of a beautiful gown (people tell you horror stories about online dresses but mine was absolutely stunning and only cost me $300) was the biggest dress I hve ever bought- nobody ever dreams of being a fat bride. I have kept some of the lace of the sleeves because it was a beautiful daisy pattern (incase I ever have daughters and they want to incorporate it into their dresses) but when I have lost 15 more kilos I am going to trash the dress for fun and to celebrate my weightloss and to send the message that I will NEVER be that size ever again.
- We have a cheap but FABULOUS local cinema where all tickets are only $6 but the seats are on the smaller side…it is a tight fit a VERY tight fit infact movies that aren’t animated are too long for me to endure the pain of the seats. But I love the cinema and the people who run it and who can resist a bargain so my goal is to fit back into those seats comfortably- 20 kilos I think will do it 🙂
- I Love animals I really do. I love the ones that aren’t generally popular like dugongs and I secretly wouldn’t mind being panda and I guess something I miss because of my size is not being able to go to the zoo or the aquarium without constantly having to sit down which ruins the vibe and the fun. This is my goal and my reward for being 30 kilos down.
- As a kid my favourite ride at Wonderland was the swing out chairs it was like flying arms wide out legs swinging hair flowing behind me. 40 kilos down and I’m gonna go chasing me some swing out chairs time to feel like I’m flying more than metaphorically.
- The last time I went to Europe I really wasn’t that much smaller than I am now I don’t know how I managed – never underestimate the power of adrenaline and enthusiasm but I cannot wait to fly without feeling bad for the people stuck next to fat old me (yes people we see the looks). It will feel incredible not having to shrink yourself for airplane seats or having to not do things I really want to try cause of my size. If I stay on track I will be 50 kilos down or close to it when we go overseas next year and what a reward an amazing holiday unrestricted by size or fitness.
I love my goals, I love that they are activity related and not clothing size related. I love that they are realistic and achievable and cannot wait to document them all for you but mostly for ME.
Linking up with Jess from Essentially Jess because it’s Tuesday and IBOT
P.S Have fun at pro blogger everyone 🙂
P.P.S I spoke to my doctor about weightloss surgery he recommends no at this stage he thinks I can do it without it…..so do I.