Here It Goes Again

Just when you think that you’re in control,
Just when you think that you’ve got a hold,
Just when you get on a roll,
Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again.
I should have known,
Should have known,
Should have known again

I was in the middle of writing my IBOT post last Monday night about how I had had a sad bad week and that I was putting it behind me and refocusing and making new goals when my typing was interrupted by the sound of someone vomiting (not me could you imagine the state of the laptop if it had been).

I walked to the bathroom to find poor hubby doubled over….something out of the ordinary he never gets sick. For the regular person gastro is horrendous for a type 1 diabetic which hubby is it’s incredibly dangerous. 2 hours later I almost faceplanted it getting into the ambulance when hubbys blood sugar bottomed out.

On the outside I was calm and composed, worried but asking the right questions. On the inside I was jittery and crying and terrified. They talked of incredibly low phosphate levels and how this could lead to ketoacidosis (which hubby previously had and was misdiagnosed at the very same hospital we were in). Without an infusion of phosphate, several different anti vomiting and nausea injections, fluids intravenously and a disgusting lemon paste that was aimed at getting his blood sugar back up ( if the taste wasn’t so disgusting that it prompted further vomiting) this could be a real possibility.

By the next day without any sleep I was exhausted, beyond exhausted my sister came to pick me up from the hospital and said some words that put it back into perspective “welcome to motherhood Rach- sleepness nights and trying to stay calm when it seems like it’s all falling apart”. So I focused on getting Chris back ontrack and then myself when I inevitably caught the gastro. I got some rest, got a new referral to a dietician and this week now that everything has calmed down I will go back to my exercise regime.

I’m a true believer that goals provide us direction. I practice this in my professional life each and everyday with my clients and so in an attempt to refocus here are my goals in terms of weightloss and fitness:

  • I was at my physical heaviness on my wedding day…my wedding dress which was an online knock off of a beautiful gown (people tell you horror stories about online dresses but mine was absolutely stunning and only cost me $300) was the biggest dress I hve ever bought- nobody ever dreams of being a fat bride. I have kept some of the lace of the sleeves because it was a beautiful daisy pattern (incase I ever have daughters and they want to incorporate it into their dresses) but when I have lost 15 more kilos I am going to trash the dress for fun and to celebrate my weightloss and to send the message that I will NEVER be that size ever again.
never again

never again

  • We have a cheap but FABULOUS local cinema where all tickets are only $6 but the seats are on the smaller side…it is a tight fit a VERY tight fit infact movies that aren’t animated are too long for me to endure the pain of the seats. But I love the cinema and the people who run it and who can resist a bargain so my goal is to fit back into those seats comfortably- 20 kilos I think will do it 🙂
  • I Love animals I really do. I love the ones that aren’t generally popular like dugongs and I secretly wouldn’t mind being panda and I guess something I miss because of my size is not being able to go to the zoo or the aquarium without constantly having to sit down which ruins the vibe and the fun. This is my goal and my reward for being 30 kilos down.
  • As a kid my favourite ride at Wonderland was the swing out chairs it was like flying arms wide out legs swinging hair flowing behind me. 40 kilos down and I’m gonna go chasing me some swing out chairs time to feel like I’m flying more than metaphorically.
swing out chairs

swing out chairs

  • The last time I went to Europe I really wasn’t that much smaller than I am now I don’t know how I managed – never underestimate the power of adrenaline and enthusiasm but I cannot wait to fly without feeling bad for the people stuck next to fat old me (yes people we see the looks). It will feel incredible not having to shrink yourself for airplane seats or having to not do things I really want to try cause of my size. If I stay on track I will be 50 kilos down or close to it when we go overseas next year and what a reward an amazing holiday unrestricted by size or fitness.

I love my goals, I love that they are activity related and not clothing size related. I love that they are realistic and achievable and cannot wait to document them all for you but mostly for ME.

Linking up with Jess from Essentially Jess because it’s Tuesday and IBOT

P.S Have fun at pro blogger everyone 🙂

P.P.S I spoke to my doctor about weightloss surgery he recommends no at this stage he thinks I can do it without it… do I.


30 thoughts on “Here It Goes Again

  1. Firstly, I wouldn’t compare your hospital dash as anything like Motherhood – I think that’s an extremely distressing situation, worrying about a loved one while you ‘go thru the hospital process’ but glad all is well now.
    Good for you with the goals. That’s fanastic. And if Europe is on the cards, GO FOR IT! (I’ll get on your case now,)

  2. Oh poor hubby .. I hope all is Ok now Rach!
    Your goals are amazing and fun and make me wanna go and do alll thosee thingsss!!!!!
    I also love that your goals are not clothing related… thats so completely cool!
    You can do this, if I know anything about you from reading your blog for the past year, I know that you are strong and willing and totally ABLE!

    Go you good thing!


  3. I think it’s great that you have those activity related goals to look forward to – it certainly helps with keeping the motivation and inspiration going.
    I hope that your husband is better now – there is nothing worse than a sick loved one.
    Have the best day !

  4. That sounds like a terrifying situation! I hope he is better now? And you? Keep your eyes on the prize lovely, I have every confidence that you can and WILL do it! And we will be here cheering you on. I saw a woman on 60 mins or today tonight, cant remember which one, that had lost 100kgs after having the gastric sleeve. Her life has completely changed, and she is so much happier, healthier, fitter for it. I give you kudos for trying on your own, but I would still keep it in the back of your mind. There is no shame in it! xo Aroha

  5. Go Rach! I honestly find you such an inspiration. You are sensible and practical and yet focused and driven. An awesome way to be!
    Glad hubby was ok in the end. That wouldn’t be much fun at all 😦

  6. Oh my goodness, I never thought about the complications of gastro and diabetes, your poor man (and you!), gastro is NEVER fun.

    Sounds like you have some awesome and very achievable goals there! I wish you all the best and look forward to following your journey!

    Visiting from #teamIBOT xxx

  7. Hi Rach – visiting via IBOT and hoping that you can put the horrible gastro experience behind you and move forward with your goals – sounds like you have set really good milestones that mean something along the way to Europe!

  8. Oh dear, I hope the hubby gets well soon! I’m behind you in all your goals and I hope you will have a wonderful time in Europe, and on the plane, the next time you visit too! All the best with the weight loss! =)

  9. As soon as I read vomitting and gastro I cringed and felt so sorry for you because we’ve just been through it twice, but having diabetes and gastro is a completely different story and I hope your hubby is OK. That would have been an extremely stressful situation.

  10. What a nasty ordeal for you – how stressful! As for your goals, I wish you the absolute best of luck. Sounds like you have some terrific milestones to work towards with rewards awaiting. Weight loss is hard HARD work but it sounds like you have the right attitude. x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s