And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to
My Name is Rachel and I am a food addict. They say the hardest step is admitting the truth to yourself ….I haven’t just admitted it to myself I’ve gone one step further and admitted it to all of you.
The definition of addiction is being dependent or controlled by a substance or a thing. The difference between most addictions and food addiction is just this, food is something you cannot go cold turkey on. It’s a life source, something we need to survive and like any addict a little with me can quickly become a lot.
When I first started making changes to my lifestyle I knew food was going to be the hard part for me the really hard part but I had no idea just how connected to every part of my life it was.
If I tried to really work out when the food obsession began I don’t think I really could the truth is even when I was slim and a dancer I still obsessed about food and thought of it constantly.
Food addiction I have realised is incredibly self centred.
Do you know I even had rules of how and what I would allow people to see me eat in public? I would go to party’s and smile and nod along with the conversation whilst really eying the cheese plate and the cabanossi contemplating how long I had to wait before I could take another piece.
I will always have this addiction in some way whether it is food excess or food denial there isn’t a single day where I will be able to go through my life without it.
Like so many things on this journey of mine I have realised that positivity is the way forward and so I choose to notice and acknowledge the following:
- Hubby and I have consciously moved all meals to the dining room table. I find it makes me slow my eating and therefore acknowledge whether I am really hungry and just eating because I’m on autopilot.
- I can go out to lunch and order whatever it is I feel like and actually offer to swap my rice for hubbys greens- yes I was shocked to.
- I recently had a birthday lunch for hubby, there was crackers and dip and cabanossi and I really didn’t have any. I didn’t eat it just because it was there I made a conscious choice that I wasn’t really hungry and could go without this.
- I also didn’t feel like a piece of cake at said party either.
- Pizza is not going to kill me once in a while. It’s ok to buy it when I really cannot fathom cooking……as long as this is a true moderation thing and not an every second day thing.
- Recognising your triggers when it comes to addiction…I buy my groceries online because I am nowhere near as tempted buy the nutritionless goods that scream at me from the shelves.
Realistically I still have long ways to go with my food choices and actions and my weightloss but I stay positive and stay committed to it after all I did promise you guys a Beyonce Single Ladies Vlog when I get there.
<Linking up with Essentially Jess because IBOT>