Breathe Just Breathe

And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to

My Name is Rachel and I am a food addict. They say the hardest step is admitting the truth to yourself ….I haven’t just admitted it to myself I’ve gone one step further and admitted it to all of you.

The definition of addiction is being dependent or controlled by a substance or a thing. The difference between most addictions and food addiction is just this, food is something you cannot go cold turkey on. It’s a life source, something we need to survive and like any addict a little with me can quickly become a lot.

When I first started making changes to my lifestyle I knew food was going to be the hard part for me the really hard part but I had no idea just how connected to every part of my life it was.

If I tried to really work out when the food obsession began I don’t think I really could the truth is even when I was slim and a dancer I still obsessed about food and thought of it constantly.

Food addiction I have realised is incredibly self centred.

Do you know I even had rules of how and what I would allow people to see me eat in public? I would go to party’s and smile and nod along with the conversation whilst really eying the cheese plate and the cabanossi contemplating how long I had to wait before I could take another piece.

I will always have this addiction in some way whether it is food excess or food denial there isn’t a single day where I will be able to go through my life without it.

Like so many things on this journey of mine I have realised that positivity is the way forward and so I choose to notice and acknowledge the following:

  • Hubby and I have consciously moved all meals to the dining room table. I find it makes me slow my eating and therefore acknowledge whether I am really hungry and just eating because I’m on autopilot.
  • I can go out to lunch and order whatever it is I feel like and actually offer to swap my rice for hubbys greens- yes I was shocked to.
  • I recently had a birthday lunch for hubby, there was crackers and dip and cabanossi and I really didn’t have any. I didn’t eat it just because it was there I made a conscious choice that I wasn’t really hungry and could go without this.
  • I also didn’t feel like a piece of cake at said party either.
  • Pizza is not going to kill me once in a while. It’s ok to buy it when I really cannot fathom cooking……as long as this is a true moderation thing and not an every second day thing.
  • Recognising your triggers when it comes to addiction…I buy my groceries online because I am nowhere near as tempted buy the nutritionless goods that scream at me from the shelves.

Realistically I still have long ways to go  with my food choices and actions and my weightloss but I stay positive and stay committed to it after all I did promise you guys a Beyonce Single Ladies Vlog when I get there.

<Linking up with Essentially Jess because IBOT>

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39 thoughts on “Breathe Just Breathe

  1. Rachel, it sounds like you are doing really, really well. What I liked to read is that you’re not being too hard on yourself if you slip up. Food addiction is so, so hard to break. You’re doing a stellar job though. I bet you’re feeling great too. Keep it up!

  2. Wow – great honest post! Well done for publically admitting these things, but more so for actually thinking about it enough to acknowledge it to yourself. It is such a hard thing, as you say, because we cannot go without food. It’s a part of our day – every day – whether we like it or not.

    • Thank you 🙂 it was hard to write and if I’m being honest didn’t write it as well as i would like but sometimes it’s more about getting something out….I am learning not to own shame of my body but pride of the changes it is making.

  3. Sounds like you are making such smart changes hon. Moving to the dining table and ordering online are huge!! The thing with food addiction is that it s everywhere. People don’t have to battle drugs and alcohol offers at every gathering they attend (at least not if they no longer hang with other addicts) but our houses have food, every time we meet a friend etc food seems to be involved. You are doing great and I for one am looking forward to that vlog still! Xxx

  4. WOW! now this is really interesting!! I am nodding along to every point.. especially about parties and food.. In my head I am saying no Yvette you don’t need it.. but my hand and stomach are saying oooh but halomi and salami are yummy…

    definitely going to make me think next time we’re at a party or ordering pizza!!

  5. Yes it’s such a tough one as you said you can’t give up food! You are doing such a great job and have great realisations! Take it one day at a time and you will be on top!

  6. Good on you, Rachel – taking massive steps in the right direction 🙂 Don’t be too hard on yourself, the occasional pizza treat is one of life’s pleasures! x

  7. I used to listen to that song on repeat a lot when I was a teenager. Good on your for admitting to yourself that you can see a problem. It’s also awesome that your hubby is being so supportive about it. I wish you many successes.

  8. Wow Rach I had never thought of it like this, but of course you can’t go cold turkey! Must be such a hard addiction to break!
    Good on you though for admitting it, and also for having the self control you do have. That can only get better with practice I’m sure.
    Oh and I love that song!!!

  9. Oh I hear ya, I love food too. Once upon a time I was a skinny minnie (due to major stress in my life). Then I got married and found contentment and food! When I got depression, I went right off my food, so I guess for me, loving food basically equates to loving life – although I’m not thrilled about what it does to my figure!

    Shopping for groceries online is a fantastic idea for getting those cravings under control!

    Visiting from #Team IBOT xxx

  10. Wow you are just amazing and such “beautifulness” is your heart that you could share with us your journey with food. Keep going gorgeous because you are so worthy of living the life you want. I would love to feature this post in my September issue of The Beast – All That Is Beautiful which simply shares this post with others via a link to you.

  11. Weightloss is absolutely the hardest! I am a terrible terrible comfort eater, but I have recently gone on antidepressants and I have suddenly noticed my urge to comfort eat for Australia has dissipated! I am very excited! Wishing you luck on your journey x

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