When I’m 64

Dear Dad,

I write this letter to you as opposed to a birthday card on what would have been your 64th birthday how sad that you never saw 60 or even 50….having turned 30 I can say with all conviction that 43 is far too young to die and that I know with certainty that sometimes life isn’t fair.

I think about you often….more now than I did when I was younger that seems to make sense, I know now what I missed out on a whole lot more than I could comprehend when I was 9.

There have been so many big moments in my life since the last time we spoke and I’ve always wondered and hoped that you would be proud of me, of the person that I have become and proud of yourself because I know that I am a good person and that you had so much to do with that.

Whilst I missed out on so many things by not having you with me I think I also gained a few things by going through grief at such an early age. Losing you gave me perspective and not just the knowledge but also the experience that our lives can change with every breath that we take. I know now the power of the words I love you and how important it is to say them to the ones you love every single day.

I can’t wait to have a family and tell them about you. The jokes you used to tell and the music you listened to and most importantly the films…..I learnt so much about films from you perhaps that’s why it is an area of my life that I love soooooo much.

So happy birthday dad, I love you now and always,

Your possum,

Rach xxx

last photo with my dad

last photo with my dad

<Linking up with Jess from Essentially Jess because it’s Tuesday and IBOT>


14 thoughts on “When I’m 64

  1. I’m so sorry that you lost your dad, particularly when you were so young. 43 is too early. That photograph of you and your dad is beautiful. I’m sure he was as proud as punch of you and is looking down now, even more proud. X

    • Thank you sunshine, that photo is up in our lounge room along with one of my husband with his mother…..our parents died like 6 months apart both from cancer I like to think that it happened in part for us to find each other. It’s what first prompted a conversation when we were 17 and even though it took another 9 years for us to see each other in a romantic light I think that first thing in common helped. xxx

    • my parents both hated having their photos taken, this was about a week before he passed away mum bought a roll of film and had us all take photos with him. He looks so ill and has no hair because of the chemo but it’s a cherished photo. A cherished memory. xxx

  2. Such a beautiful letter… I’m sure your dad watch over you and is very proud of you. Sending you virtual positive thoughts.

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