Here’s to Us

Here’s to us Here’s to love
All the times That we messed up
Here’s to you Fill the glass
Cause the last few nights
Have kicked my ass

I’m not a fighter, I’m quite a contradiction really because I have opinions which I voice but I’m not a fighter. I don’t like conflict and I am terrified of hurting peoples feelings but yesterday when I heard that someone we had always thought of as a friend was bad mouthing my husband in public I had had enough because for anyone who has ever met my husband would know that Chris is kind and gentle, I have never known anyone to be able to say anything nasty about him.

how could anyone not love him

how could anyone not love him

Now I’m not someone who will tell you about how my husband was wrongly accused of being a bad friend and being disloyal without giving you a bit of background. The “friend” in question was involved in a very nasty break up about 4 months ago and in that time we have had him over at our house numerous times where I have consoled him and he has cried, we have had dinner with him, Chris has gone out drinking with him and also to the beach in short we have been in my opinion supportive however Chris has apparently made the crime of not deleting the ex off of facebook- a girl who was one of the few people to support me through the time when we lost our baby.

So yesterday when I heard about what was said I sent the “friend” in question a message saying I thought he was better than someone who would bad mouth a friend in public I explained how we coud not justify deleting this girl when she had done such a kindness to us but that we also had not contacted her since the break up. I don’t think I was nasty I think if anything the message expressed disappointment that the situation could not be resolved. Being someone who is not open to reacting to nastiness I did not expect the reaction I got.

What I got was what I can only describe was an onslaught of what this friend called honesty where I was told that this girl only supported me through the miscarriage due to the fact that it was convenient and we lived down the street. He then went on to tell me about how all of our friends had made a lot of snide remarks about myself and my husband and I wish I could say that I was strong about it but I wasn’t this was my breaking point I cried and cried and cried. What a way to end 2012 huh? I apologised to my husband over and over I was sorry that he got stuck with the fat girl and that this made him the curse of jokes I was sorry if I embarassed him and he called me ridiculous and told me he loved me.

For any of you Sopranos fans I felt like Ginny Sacramoni (in the show she is a rather fat lady married to a skinny man who is blind to her size he is just completely besotted with his wife- the other guys sometimes make jokes about her size), I felt bad for my husband. But then I realised I’m not ashamed of being her because if the worst that people can say about me is that I’m fat then I must be a pretty good person. That the only snide comments can be about my size means 2 things how incredibly shallow those people are and also how awesome I am of a person. Plus I thought about it some more and some of those guys who make fat jokes got those jokes off of me- because nobody can laugh at you if you laugh first.

me on christmas day

me on christmas day

I would also like to do a shout out to my beautiful friends Sarah, Sandra and Kristy and an even bigger shout out to my big sister Kellie for giving me the advice to forget everyone else I have to concentrate on MY family first and that meant putting Chris and Molly before everyone else and that there is nothing wrong with that. So that’s how I choose to start 2013 with my hubby and my puppy and just forget about the world a bit.

our molly

our molly

If they give you hell
Tell em to go fuck themselves
Here’s to us

Linking up with Jess for the first IBOT of the year

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24 thoughts on “Here’s to Us

  1. People suck, and it’s usually the ones you expect to do better that suck the most. I’m sorry your ‘friend’ was such an arse and I’m super glad you have people around you who are smart enough to remind you to forget the idiots and concentrate on what’s important. Happy New Year

  2. That really is a shitty way to end 2012 Rach, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Some people really are just assholes! And I agree that if the worst they can say about you is about your weight, well, that’s says a lot about you and what kind of person you are (obviously a good one!), and a lot more about what kind of horrible people they are!

    Here’s to a much happier start to 2013 and forgetting the assholes!

    #teamIBOT

  3. I’m totally going to leave a swear here… Fuck them Rae, fuck them sideways, down ways, up ways and back again. You have made two amazing points here – the worst they can call you is fat? Really? Who’s saying any of them won’t put on some weight at any time in their life? But awesome point, you are an awesome person (regardless of the fact you don’t deserve the fat insult, i laughed with you about the ‘best’ they had) And Chris didn’t deserve any of what they did either – but hey, they don’t deserve such awesome friends like the two of you, clearly they all deserve each other xxx

  4. My sister likes to say “I may be fat, but you’re ugly and I can lose weight.” These people are truly ugly on the inside – the worst possible way to be ugly. I think you’ve just realised who is NOT important in your life! They couldn’t have been very good friends to start with. Lots of love to you beautiful lady. Like L said – fuck them!

  5. You are absolutely right!
    Fuck them!!
    If that’s the way they treat you, then they don’t deserve to have you in their lives!
    It’s such a shame that 2012 ended in that way, but you have the whole of 2013 to make up for it!
    By the way (from one straight married chick to another), I happen to think you’re gorgeous!!
    Happy New Year! 🙂
    xx

  6. It has been the time to see peoples true colours which has happened in my life. Just gotta keep living your life and learn to ignore the beasts. Have a wonderful new year.

  7. It saddens me that we sometimes learn the hard way just how volatile friendships can be. Especially when it comes down to these honest exchanges that reveal a history of dishonesty! Does that make sense? It does in my head. But I’m tired.
    Sorry you had to go through that 😦 x

  8. Hi Rae, I came across this post through IBOT! You know people who are nasty about others people’s appearances are quite stupid – it makes my blood boil, having spend years of my childhood being teased about an aspect of mine. You seem wise enough not to take on board other people’s shit but I bet it must have hurt. May 2013 be full of people who love you for who you are, like your awesome hubby and Molly. Emily 🙂

  9. Rach, as one of my oldest friends, I can absolutely say to you that you are a beautiful person, inside and out. There’s no way that you deserve to associate with people like that, let alone call them ‘friends’. I’ll always have you and Chris’ back xx

  10. We have been through the marriage break up of friends recently too. We made a decision to support them both. Be there for both of them. Not take sides. We love them both equally. One side of the break up accepted this and was grateful for our continued friendship, The other side couldn’t cope with us not choosing his side. it’s been very uncomfortable. We just keep on living the way we always have with our front door open to our friends and without passing judgement. We can’t change the way he feels. But we’re not the ones who got a divorce, They did. It’s their story and their journey, Not ours.
    Not sure why I am telling you all this … other than to say I understand what you are going through.
    Stay strong and be true to you.
    Good luck!
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

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